I am about to turn 50 next year, and I am just getting that lesson. I think that between 30 and 40 is the decade when a lot of shit finally starts to happen that you might have thought never would happen to you or those you love. Right now, at 30, you're wishing you did something different at 22. I know how strongly some people feel against church in our generation. Everyone dies. This is a community for Redditors that are starting to get that "get off my lawn" feeling whenever they check their front page. I sent an email out to my subscribers (subscribe here) and asked readers age 37 and older what advice they would give their 30-year-old selves. I started over at 41. Stop worrying about what 'everyone' says and go live your own life as you see fit. I have ADHD, PCOS and Insulin Resistance. But just as with the retirement savings, the response from the older readers was loud and unanimous: get healthy and stay healthy now. I was guilty of: Assuming conversations that others might be having about me. Some are left anonymous. Now don't crucify me on the church thing. My Life Starts At 30 I have struggled with my weight most of my adolescent to adult life. Forget about what "they" say and do what's best for you. Hated it, but it came with a savings plan, pension, medical insurance, etc. The result was spectacular. I would remind my 30 year old self that at 40, my 30s would be equally filled with dumb stuff, different stuff, but still dumb stuffâ¦ So, 30 year old self, donât go getting on your high horse. You get to see the same people once a week, usually the sermon isn't about God at all because of the denomination and is actually thought provoking about some aspect of life, and there's food after. That now I can just stop improving my life and just enjoy it. It impacted my marriage, my career, my self-image in a fiercely negative manner. Any degree taught you skills and, at a minimum, gives you more options than not having any degree does. The individuals that I have seen with the biggest regrets during this decade are those that stay in something that they know is not right. âEveryoneâ my age is in their first or second marriage by now! Another woman, age 62, didnât save because her husband out-earned her. Depending if you're in a big city there might even be beginner adult sports things available. Accept that.â (Eldri, 60). Honor that. And then you also need to contemplate creating a family of your own. The second best time is today. I would add, donât forget to actually grow up and start a family and take on responsibilities other than success at work. There is something in staying close to men and women, and looking on them, and in the contact and odor of them, that pleases the soul well;All things please the soul—but these please the soul well. I was free from the job but what to do next. I have ADHD, PCOS and Insulin Resistance. So come in, have some fun, and enjoy the Reddit discussions that you remember from years past. I will... No, it's not too late. At 35, I was working for a (landline) phone company and hated it. Little did I know that it took the better part of a decade to even get competent at this. Imagine 2 adults and 3 middle/elementary school aged kids all studying at the kitchen table. They all said the same thing: âIf I could go back, I would start eating better and exercising and I would not stop. You STILL donât know it all. Or as Renee, 40, succinctly put it: âBe kind to yourself.â. Being perpetually single sounds amazing to all of my married friends but it is not the way one should choose to live their life.â (Anonymous, 43), âI would have told myself to stop constantly searching for the next best thing and I would have appreciated the relationships that I had with some of the good, genuine guys that truly cared for me. Initially, I was drawn to the idea of a body reset; a one-month commitment that would revive a healthy digestive system and help me identify foods that could be causing problems. She, too, now lives paycheck to paycheck, slowly waiting for the day social security kicks in. Itâs a different relationship when youâre an adult and itâs up to you how you redefine your interactions. Besides, most feelings of loss are in your mind anyway â few matter in the long term.â (Thomas, 56). Learn about the idea that transformed a depressed deadbeat into one of the most important philosophers who ever lived. I started the Whole30 diet on a whim when my body could no longer take the lifestyle I was living. Eventually got a job offer from a different state where I knew no one -- a job where they were mostly hiring people half my age, straight out of school for entry level positions. Over 600 people, age 40 and older, weigh in on the life lessons they learned in their 30s. As one reader wisely said, âSelfishness and self-interest are two different things. Healthy recipes along with some random things that make me happy. Donât buy a home unless you can afford to get a good mortgage with good rates. When you're 40, if you just go with the usual routine, you're going to wish you did something at 30 and think it's too late. “There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley Even though I am just 20, I’ve always been one of those people who is constantly waiting for my life to start. Donât trust stockbrokers. But by our 30s weâve learned that good relationships are hard to come by, that thereâs no shortage of people to meet and friends to be made, and that thereâs no reason to waste our time with people who donât help us on our lifeâs path. Well, according to the 40+ crowd, this continues to be true in oneâs 30s and, well, forever it seems; and it continues to be good news forever as well. We believe that we have all of the time in the world. Move to a new city just to see what it's like, go teach English overseas, it's never too late. My Life Starts At 30. I have struggled with my weight most of my adolescent to adult life. Do what feels right for you.â (Anonymous, 40). That was 6 years ago. Any stories from people who started over at or after 30? The idea was that I would crowdsource the life experience from my older readership and create another article based on their collective wisdom. It may mean ditching a career they spent a decade building and giving up money they worked hard for and became accustomed to. Don't sweat the small stuff bud, because it IS all small stuff. Divorced, kids taken to another country. I have worked the same job for the past 8 years which I hate. Wondering what the outcome might be. The majority of the article comprises dozens of quotes taken from readers. You need to perfect your career first. Iâve put together a 55-page guide to developing a stronger sense of discipline and healthy habits. They push you to your limits. Others have their age listed. It will not develop as you expect. The consensus about marriage seemed to be that it was worth it, assuming you had a healthy relationship with the right person. It’s a chance to rebuild your life the way you wanted all along. Hell, and you even have a degree! But I am not stopping at that. I have been working for the last year to finally get the weight off. What makes one person happy doesnât make everyone happy. Become a subscriber to the site and get all that extra cool stuff. Be the person that others can count on when it does. Conclusion: It seems that while family is not absolutely necessary to have a happy and fulfilling life, the majority of people have found that family is always worth the investment, assuming the relationships are healthy and not toxic and/or abusive. Children are the most fulfilling, challenging, and exhausting endeavor anyone can ever undertake. That stupid and expensive piece of paper will open doors for you that I literally would be allowed to walk through. Do it, man. They make you better in every way. While going through the emails what surprised me the most was just how consistent some of the advice was. You can get money back and jobs back, but you can never get time back.â (Anne, 41), âTragedy happens in everyoneâs life, everyoneâs circle of family and friends. the reporter asked if she had any regrets, and she replied “if i had started playing violin at age 60, i would’ve been playing for 40 years by now.”. And my life-long dream of making a difference with my words, like Oprah, felt forgotten and discarded, like last season’s fashions. Retirement planning is not something to put off. Donât tolerate them for financial reasons. Keep an âemergency fundâ â there were tons of horror stories about people getting financially ruined by health issues, lawsuits, divorces, bad business deals, etc.
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